Story of A Girl In PERMATApintar

Telan air liur

Takut

Kenapa?

Tak tahu apa nak tulis untuk entry kali ini. 

Dah banyak draf yang dibiarkan tidak di-publish. 

Rasa macam tidak sesuai untuk tontonan umum. 

Bosan dan membosankan.

Tahan kuap

Maaf. Si penulis telah melalui terlalu banyak dalam tempoh masa yang terlalu singkat. Buntu. Mungkin si penulis masih mencari-cari ilham atau inspirasi untuk menulis. Buku To Kill A Mockingbird pun penulis belum sempat khatamkan. Tapi pada fikiran penulis, dia harus menghidangkan sebuah kisah bagi para pembaca sebelum dia.... Sebelum dia berangkat meninggalkan bumi Malaysia tercinta.

*****

So this is a story. A story of an average girl who was offered a place in Program Pendidikan PERMATApintar Negara. She pondered and thought until she decided to accept the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that was staring down at her eagerly waiting to be grabbed. That's when her journey began. A journey into the unknown because if she were honest with herself, she would have said that she has absolutely no clue as to what was going to happen to her next.

In this world of unknown, she met weird people whom she would stick around for the rest of her 2-year life there. They consisted of 15 queer, uncanny human beings. She felt awkward to be in the same room with such people, but she tried her best to be a good member of the group anyway. 

Back in the dorms she met her roommate. Her roommate was really nice to her, and thanks to her experience living in a hostel, she has helped her a lot in settling down in the new environment. Oh my, if it weren't for her roommate, she wouldn't even know how to put on her clothes properly! So she was greatly thankful about that.

After a few days, she discovered that there were more students who were of the same age as her. "Spirit batch", they chanted; a word very unfamiliar to her ears (again thanks to her roommate who explained the term to her in detail). So she found out she had batchmates: those who were apparently enduring the same journey as hers.

She thought that the number of people stopped there, but she was wrong. It turns out there are those older than her and her batchmates. They are called the seniors. They are one step ahead as they have survived one year of the journey in PERMATApintar.

Just when she thought that things are starting to make sense, she was greeted one day with news that she was offered the Fast Track program. She was shocked. Bewildered by such a mind-blowing fact.

"This is just an offer. You can always deny that offer," they used to say to her. But what was she to do? At the point of her life when everything was just a mess and the only thing that she's good at in decision-making is being indecisive? Finally she decided that she should "just go along with this program" and "see what happens".

Days turn into weeks which turn into months which turn into a year. She became closer to her classmates, and them to her. She knows their favourite food, their childhood fear (sorta), their last night's meal, some of their secrets and even the clothes that they wear. There are events where the whole class had a misunderstanding, but there was nothing too big for them to forgive and forget. She did lots of wacky things with them. She stayed up all night with them just to finish off a model of a stadium. She ventured the whole school compound in search of a good shooting spot. She even sacrificed her weekends to make sure that every group-work was done. And they all did the same. Before long, their bonds became stronger and their relationship became truer.

Apart from classmates and classes, she enjoyed her life in school as well. She was elected as a Multimedia Exco of MPP by the way. That was when she learnt about leadership and sacrifice. About responsibility and trust. She finally realised that though she was elected, she still had a lot to learn from her fellow colleagues. About values that one should own in order to be a good leader. She never knew (or thought) about it herself until she herself was involved in such a committee. 

Other than that, she also joined the softball team (by chance in the first place). After she thought about it, she came to a conclusion that it was destined for her to be in such an elite sports team. She was never good in sports. Never was involved in any, so she has zero experience in the field. But she tried her best anyway. She still was not able to become the best of players, but she knew that she has gained something that is way more valuable than the skills themselves. It is to be confident and to do the best no matter how bad we are at something.

There were also Hari Sukan, gotong-royong, explorace, sambutan perayaan and other events that she took part in. Those were what made her life more colourful and meaningful.

But then there is the fact that life is not a bed of roses. She still has the Fast Track to think about. What with the taking 3 exams in one go apart from other responsibilities, she sometimes wished she had more hours per day. But she knew that that was nowhere near possible.

And then there's the interview. Dang it, she says. She knew that speaking has always been her weakest point. She was unable to find out why words and sentences seem all jumbled-up in her brain. Sometimes it sounded right the first time she thought about it, but as soon as she spits them out, they sound unorganized and crappy. If only there were a means of communication through telepathy, the interview would have been less painful. But there isn't, so she has to accept her weakness and find a way to overcome it. She thought about taking speaking classes in the future for her own benefit.

Thankfully she was offered a scholarship after all. She prepared for her university admission, got her documents ready and was ready to set sail (not really on a ship but set sail sounds so cool). Only one thing left for her to bear: separation. Her batchmates made so many attempts in capturing the last piece of memories with those who were about to leave. Yet, due to her ever-so-busy self, she was unable to attend any of the planned mass gatherings. She was not around when the girls decided to wear the same colours. Twice! She was nowhere to be seen at the batch dinner. She was also absent on the last day before the holidays, when everyone was in the mood for taking pictures and bidding farewells. But then again she hates taking pictures, so she didn't mind any of those.

The night before the holidays began (she would not be around anymore after that), her class had a gathering. They ate pizzas, watched videos, talked about old times, laughed at inside jokes, wrote letters to each other, and tried their best to keep the mood joyous instead of gloomy. It was surely a moment that she will miss once she's out there all by herself. Who knew that some complete strangers would light up her world and become part of her family. No matter how confident they all are at keeping the ties tied, she knew that it would not be the same when distance becomes the barrier. She can only talk about things that has already happened while the others can continue discussing about things that are currently happening. Experience itself can never be converted into words. She appreciates the time spent with all 14 of them and is determined to seek them in the future when all of them have jobs and soul mates. She can't wait for that day to come.

PERMATApintar might not be a good place for someone to get a free ticket to success - such as getting good grades and university offers etc - but it certainly is the best place for someone who is planning to learn to be independent and take a trip into self-discovery. After that, success comes along. There might be certain opportunities that she has missed out on, but she never regretted having accepted the offer in the first place. She is confident that what matters most is how well she puts her chances to her advantage.

She wished that she could have more time to spend in PERMATApintar. Alas, it's just a few days before she would be transported to her next destination. She always thought that hey, just think of this as her being relocated to another school in a different state instead of a different country.

There are lots more things that she would want to chatter about, but it seems that this short story is already long enough.

Everyone has their own story and this... This is the story of a girl in PERMATApintar.

She's not in this picture

Or this

Or this

Some infinities are bigger than other infinities

― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

“Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.” 

― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird