Night Walking

She started to count. 82, 81, 80... She didn't know how long it has been, or how much longer it's going to take. 59, 58, 57... She wanted to calm herself down, tell herself that it's not going to be long. She was number 83 by the way, the 27th person to be left solo. Looking at the watch on her wrist might cause her more anxiety, so she decided that it was best for her to not know what time it was. There she sat, alone like everybody else.

She knew her fellow teammate, Aida, was right behind her. When the head facilitator halted her at the spot where she was sitting right now, she looked back as if expecting to find some more people behind her. "Probably we'll be staying here in groups," she thought. However, the looming darkness that came into view gave her immediate goosebumps. How long have they been gone? She didn't even realize that there was nobody behind.

So there she was, trying to untangle the confusion that completely invaded her brain. Yes, she knew that Azim was not that far ahead, because her eyes followed the group up front until the person was told to sit, but she couldn't quite see him due to the fact that he was a bit downhill. Then she figured, "Aida and I must not be distant either". She turned around and surely enough there was a human-like figure a few meters away.

She stared at the ground. What was a 16-year-old girl to do in the middle of the forest alone at this time of the night? It'll be more than a lie to say that she wasn't scared. She was, mind you. But a sense of secure overpowered the fear as she knew that if anything were to happen, it would take her a mere second to run towards her teammates. She remembered stories told by friends or family members about their experience being part of a military training. They have been abandoned in a forest too, and she's pretty certain that they were really isolated. She was thankful, for if she were to be left in such a situation, her heart would be thumping against her chest like crazy.

Sounds of frogs filled the otherwise silent night. Or maybe they were toads? She couldn't quite tell the difference. She allowed her mind to be free, to extricate itself from the tangling world. O Allah, I know I have my weaknesses. I have done You wrong infinite times. How ignorant am I all this while. How much about You that I don't really know. How much time I spent not thinking about You. O Allah, never let me be far from You. Guide me O Allah the Almighty, for I am no more than Your slave on the face of the earth. I am no more than a weakling. I would have no meaning to this world if it were not for Your will. I would never gain a piece of knowledge if it were not for Your will. Show me the right path and give me the strength to follow it, for You know what I know not. So much uncertainties I have in life O Allah, that only You know the solution to. O Allah, how sinned I am towards you.

Such thoughts flooded her mind. She nearly cried but she knew she had to be strong. Subconsciously, she experienced something. Courage. She was never the type of person to go around dark places all by herself, let alone a forest with only the moon as a source of light. But what she felt at that particular moment was totally distinct. She never knew she'd have it in her. Inner strength, if she even knows what it means.

Then, she started to tolerate the sounds around her. Before long, she was lost in the world of nature. How many nights were spent without her stopping even once to appreciate the beauty of it. She didn't dare to let her eyes wander the surrounding too often of course, but still she was all ears. Nature was alive in the middle of the night. The moon blissfully reflected sun's radiant light back towards earth, thus preventing the night from being in absolute darkness. Now she understood how great a Tahajjud is.

She turned her back once or twice, just trying to make sure that there's still someone who's got her back. The urge to call out Aida's name that has been bugging her in the beginning has now died off. She felt secure enough. She continued to be lost in her own thoughts. "If I were to have a pen and paper (or even my laptop) at this very moment, I'd surely pour out my overflowing ideas". She would surely be able to write a 5-paged short story.

Time flew by. She lost track of it. The longing to be reunited with her friends slowly haunted her, but she persevered all the way through. Somehow, there was a remote voice that didn't want the night to end. 
Just as drowsiness crept up, she heard voices. "They're here," She waited some more, knowing that they would soon arrive. A torchlight was shone in her direction.
"Number"
"83"
"Password"
"Rumah kereta"
"Ok, bangun."
She breathed a sigh of relief.