Diari #001 (it's about time I label posts like these as a diary so you guys won't be so stunned reading my inner thoughts)

Just finished my very first fixi novel - KELABU. Very interesting story, I must say. Cara si penulis mengembangkan watak Amir itu berjaya menahan aku daripada meletakkan buku itu selagi aku belum habis membacanya. I like books yang menyebabkan aku menepuk dahi secara spontan, ketawa sorang2 macam orang putus wayar, hentak dinding macam orang putus cinta, dan menangis macam orang tengah potong bawang. Yup. Books make me do all those ridiculous (and probably embarrassing) acts in public. Makes me wonder how a person could have such a good sense of sarcasm and humour.

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#Pergi

Tak kesah pun kalau takda gambar aku langsung. (Well, at least I see my face in the group photo). Seriously, I dislike taking pictures especially if it involves me being the only object on camera. But tipu la kalau aku cakap aku tak terasa walaupun sedikit. Felt a bit..how to put it...left out? Hakikatnya semua manusia itu ada perasaan, though some choose to ignore seeing or feeling the emotions in some people.

(Terlalu public kah tempat ini untuk aku coretkan isi hati? erk) (kata-kata ini bukan ditujukan kepada mana-mana pihak, so please jangan terasa. aku tau betapa rare dan limited editionnya gambar aku. biasalah, naluri artis dalam diri aku ini mengakibatkan aku secara reflex akan mengelak orang nak ambik gambar aku. eh, bukan naluri artis nie suka ambik gambar ka? apa2 ja la)

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Perpishan

My absence may or may not bring any significance, though I hope that either way it'll turn out to be something positive. Yang aku tengah fikir, aku di situ, dan orang tu di sana. Hmm.. orang mana yang aku maksudkan? Aku pun tak tau

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Sometimes I think I'm being too hard on myself. I should take it easy. Dump all your negative thoughts dude. You're not gonna be happy if you keep thinking that you're this useless girl nobody wants. (bunyi macam kasar ja. but this is a monologue, so tak kasar pun sebenarnya. heh)

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Semenjak dua tiga menjak nie too many thoughts come pouring out of my brain especially time tengah mandi (tapi aku tak bazir air okeh) Tapi aku rasa this is not the right time for me to disclose it somewhere so public. Biarlah terapung dalam lautan fikiran aku. Tapi kalau tunggu for the right moment, mesti dah basi dah by then. You know, good thoughts only come out once, and even if you try to construct the exact same words an hour later, it won't be as powerful as the first one. At least, that's how it works for me.