Honestly, chess is not my game. I'm not saying this simply because I didn't manage many wins today (though some part of that does put a bit of an influence); but more of the fact that "strategy"? I'm not much good at it.
Before you continue, it would be my greatest honour to state that this post may be long, dull, and altogether insignificant, so a piece of advice I could give to you at this point is to skedaddle. Scram. GTH outta here. Okay? Cool. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, I no longer have a diary and, this does act as a diary to some extent; and you'll be seeing words upon words upon words in this post, with only one photo at the very end.
There were 8 of us PERMATApintarians, four for each gender. You know what, when I think about it, I had been missing class quite a lot since the beginning of the year. From LDK to this chess competition, and stuff. What's more, I really don't give a shit. Yeah. That's my idea of a senior year. I don't want to leave school with no stories whatsoever to tell people. When I'm out of PERMATA, I want to be able to share an inch-thick memoir and not just some crap on homework and assignment. I want to break out of my academic-oriented self and venture things around me - even if it means sacrificing my grades (though I sure hope that won't happen. Na'uzubillah). All these years, due to the education system that brainwashes people into thinking that "You must score the national exams or else you'll be stupid", I have put too much thought into academic work. Argh. Scoring exams is one thing, learning is another.
So there we are - Manesha, Raha, Wee Soo May and I - perched at a nook, discussing about universities and whatnot. The two of them applied to probably ten or so universities and I was like Hell no. I applied for only 5 by the way. My mum told me to apply to those (unis) which are worth it, so indirectly she's encouraging me not to apply for much. Yeah, I wouldn't want to waste my parents' money, but still they'll go with whatever I wish to choose, and I'm totally fine with that. Both Raha and Manesha asked for assistance from families and peers and teachers regarding their college application essay; and as for me, I received none. I don't know who to turn to when it comes to these sort of matters. It made me feel sort of left out, but then, kalau ada rezeki, ada lah...
Back to the chess competition. At around 9.30, the list of names were given out and I found my pair. I started off with white (though I prefer being the black), and as soon as I plop down on the chair, the person next to me said "So you're the infamous *I forgot my opponent's name* right? You won three years in a row. Surely you're gonna win again this year" And I was like kau fikir aku tak wujud kah di sebelah kau nie. Perlukah kau bagitau semua nie depan aku. I was somewhat bengang at that time when she said that. And this was my conversation with my opponent:
Opp : Dah pernah main tak sebelum nie?
Me : Tak pernah
Opp : *buat muka terkejut* Ada training tak?
Me : Tak *sambil geleng kepala*
Opp : *buat muka yang lebih terkejut sambil ketawa sedikit*
I felt like facepalming myself at that moment.
The game started off. I watched her early moves and hypothesised that she was gonna do the 4-step thing on me, but I acted as if I know not of that trick. But then I was just in time to halang her from checkmating me (kau fikir aku newbie tidak tau kah pasal 4-step tu? Oh please). She took some time to think. She doesn't seem to be the type who makes a move laju-laju. I haven't realised that my time was way less than hers until it's too late. Then the person next to us arose (their game has ended), and the previous person was like I know you can win. I'm betting on you. Again, read the above sentence "kau fikir aku tak ...... depan aku". Menyampah betul aku. LOL. So finally, I lost not because she checkmated me, but due to my time loss. I lost by time, and not by checkmate. I did feel a bit satisfied with myself, because I managed to get on with the game without her making me a punching bag at an early stage. Raha won the first game via 4-step. Way-to-go Raha! :D
During the break, we continued our discourse on "the future". We came to the topic job and marriage and stuff. Raha told us that she wants to at least get a job in the US first before coming back to Malaysia, and that goes the same for Manesha. Me? I've been thinking about this quite a lot lately. I'd like to have a career, a job, something to do; but at the same time I want to have a family, have kids. I know that those are two things which cannot run parallel (in my point of view la). There are times when I yearn for the chance to know no love but Allah's, to have no love but for Allah, so I shall not be having the desire of marriage yada yada yada (because to be frank, I think I'm no good at "looking for the right person")But then I am still a human being and feelings are a fitrah, so I'll just have to live with that. As a wanita, I really anticipate the moment when I shall be having children. I guess it's part of the instincts that women are born with. I envy those who have babies (looks weird now that I have written that one out). Me want also. Then there's the career part. I know that I would not like to be a mother with a career, because I want my kids to spend time with me and I shall not have anybody taking care of them other than I myself (and of course their dad). Thinking of the future is really tough, and sometimes you just have to stop doing so and reflect on what you are currently pursuing in order to get a better view of it.
The chess competition went on and on and on. I was getting more and more tired with all these mental exercise. During the last game, I offered a draw (so that my opponent and I don't really have to play). I deliberately exposed my chess pieces, and both my knights were taken without me even trying to protect them. I was main belasah ja up to the point when I realised that there was an opportunity for a checkmate. I won, but since I was the one who offered a draw, I tidak sanggup memungkiri perjanjian. I guess that's one problem that I have. Tak sanggup. I sympathise people way too much. That's why I shall never be able to do business or law or anything that requires a skill on cheating or twisting information. I made friends with my last opponent (the only friend that I made throughout this tournament. I'm no good in making friends). She did smile at me as we walked past each other after the tournament ended. Yeah. I never knew that playing chess would lead to meeting new people. There was one opponent who didn't really know PERMATApintar. And the thing is about entering competitions here is that I don't really know anybody. Back in Sabah, I used to meet some familiar faces at competitions and actually said hi to them. Also, I am familiar with the schools there but here most of them were foreign to me. Cool.
Best of all, I get to know my team mates better. Let's start with the legendary Amir. He lost the first game but won the next three consecutive, and I was like hey, do you play chess? He gave a slight nod and I tercengang seketika. "Sekolah rendah?" I asked. *slight nod* "Sekolah menengah?" *slight nod*. Me: *facepalm* :O *terkejut gila gila gila gila gila....* Amir nie.. I like his style. Selamba ja. Muka pun sama ja.. Yup.. I like his style. Manesha. She's the kampung type. Although she does admit that she likes shopping and stuff, she really is kampungish. I also got to know that she's really close to her grandma and she told us about her parents and family. She has a younger sister who is also a chess-player. Raha also has a younger chess-playing younger sister. Syakir? Ada la cakap sikit-sikit.. Haha. Galvin? That dude is crazy. Merlin? Influences his opponents with the latest games. PS4. Wee Soo May? She's fun and enjoyable and adorable. Great to have them as a team. :D
The school that we went to was new, and it had a field! :( It was a primary school by the way, and at the surau, the selipar tandas were like so damn small! Tiny.. And the kids were so cheerful and giggly and playful. Yeahhh..
In the end, Manesha managed a bronze medal for the school and was qualified for the next level. I felt pretty awful that I was unable to contribute much to the team. It really was a new experience for all of us.
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| At the front gate |
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| Le chess board + Galvin |
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